La maîtrise de l'amour, by Don Miguel Ruiz
In his book “The mastery of love” Don Miguel Ruiz starts from the postulate that if our relationships with others do not work, it is simply because we do not love ourselves. At least, most of us. At least, not enough. And I believe he is right! But fortunately Don Miguel Ruiz does not leave us like that. In his book he also explains why and gives us the keys to change. Hallelujah!
“Your happiness can only come from within and it is the fruit of your love. When you are aware that no one can make you happy and that happiness is the result of your own love, you discover the greatest mastery of the Toltecs: the mastery of love”
Why are our relationships with others so fragile?
If Don Miguel Ruiz had already won me over with “The 4 Toltec Agreements”, reading “The Mastery of Love” overwhelmed me. If I had understood for a long time that most of my relationships were shitty, I had not yet found the answers to my questions. So why didn't it work? The possibilities were numerous. Thanks to Don Miguel Ruiz I understood that I was not alone and that the answer is universal. Our relationships don't work because we are afraid of not being loved. And this fear comes from the fact that we do not love each other. As simple as that!
Anger, jealousy, sadness, blame, judgement, we keep inflicting our deep-rooted fears on others. We pour out our hatred at the slightest disappointment, at the slightest doubt, at the slightest fragility. And we ruin our relationships. Today, it's time for that to stop, it's time to become peaceful beings, it's time to learn to love ourselves. And in his book Don Miguel Ruiz gives us all the keys to achieve this.
Throughout the pages, the author reminds us that to love someone is not to want to change them but to accept them as they are, that love should only be about sharing, pleasure and fun, or even that to love is not to accept everything. These are very simple theories, but Don Miguel Ruiz has the gift of making them understood. Or was it me who was finally ready to listen? I do not know.
In any case, since I read it for the first time several months ago, this book sits on my bedside table and I reread passages regularly to be sure to apply its precious advice. And it works! Because today I really want to love myself. And by dint of therapy, analysis, listening and reading, I'm getting there more and more. Learning to love yourself is a constant job, made of relapses and forgiveness, but the path is as beautiful as the result. Fall after fall, we improve and we are more and more proud of ourselves! Even if I'm still far from giving myself total love, that I sometimes continue to judge myself and hurt myself, I'm getting better and better, I can feel it. I am calmer, more confident, I am less afraid of everything. And especially rejection. I learn to respect myself, not to hurt myself, and not to hurt others. "The mastery of love", the second book by Don Miguel Ruiz is not for nothing in this transformation, it really gave me the keys to apprehend life more serenely, to get out of the lie in which I lived , this lie that made me believe that I was not someone who could really love.